After an all night session of drunken research I've come to the conclusion there are no 32 bit linux distros left that will fit on a CD-R and actually install a desktop, hell DVD-R either. Was going to give my faithful old Dell i486 laptop to a neighbor kid to play with but I think it's dead Jim.

Suggestions?

Those that are left seem to only boot from media and will not install anything to a hard disk.

Must be a screen door blowing shut somewhere that could use it, pretty heavy.